Quoted: St. John of the Cross
St John of the Cross talks about spiritual gluttony, the desire to receive the Eucharist in order to experience "sensible sweetness and pleasure, instead of humbly doing reverence. . . . When they have received no pleasure or sweetness in the senses, they think they have accomplished nothing at all. . . . They have not realized that the least of the benefits which come from this Most Holy Sacrament is that which concerns the senses."
He continues by describing the feelings of those prone to spiritual gluttony when engaging in prayer; as with their attitude to the Sacrament, they believe they must experience a sensible reaction when praying, and if they haven't, they think it's no good.
It's passages like this that make me suspect that I would do better reading the writings of the saints than bothering with therapy. Growing up in the church of Christ, I constantly heard people remarking during Bible studies that whenever they struggled, they would pray, and God would comfort them. Having been in constant emotional agony for years, I would pray and pray and pray, not for relief, but for a measure of the comfort that God gave other people, and every prayer was a failure for me: because I didn't feel the comfort other people said they got. Reading St John of the Cross' description of the propensities of spiritual gluttons (hello, my name is Kate, and I'm a spiritual glutton) it becomes clear to me there was no better way to achieve mistrust of myself and my ability to please God (if ever I could--see, right there you see the effect of my thinking!).
I've been doing the same thing in regard to my reception of the Sacrament. My first Communion was easily the holiest, most blissful moment I have ever experienced, and having experienced it, I wanted the same feeling at every communication. To that end I've tended to direct my thoughts in such a way that I hoped I
wouldfeel the same bliss of union with Christ. Reading SJotC, I get it now: It's not supposed to be about the sensible experience: all my thoughts should be on the honor, the sacredness of materially receiving the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of the Son of God. When you put it that way I almost feel I've been commiting sacriliege to have been so wrongly focused.
So today we let the kids go with the grandparents to their church, and Adam and I went out to the parish here in town. (Ironical side note: Adam's high school girlfriend was a Catholic. She's not Catholic any longer, because Adam talked her out of being Catholic--and now Adam's the Catholic.) It's hard to trap my thoughts these days, but I did my best to overcome my spiritual gluttony. And I must say Communion meant more to me today than it has for some weeks.
If only I had been raised Catholic, I would have read these profound works sooner, and might not have suffered so much.
edit: Maybe I'm just super-nervous, but I can see people assuming I'm implying all sorts of things I wasn't, so here are some clarifications:
*My mention of growing up in the CoC might give the impression that the CoC puts a lot of stock on emotion or on feeling when it comes to religion. Not really, not much more than the typical low-church Protestant tradition; it definitely believes in the superiority of spontaneity in worship, but it isn't at all a touchy-feely tradition. (Thank goodness.) However, putting stock in spontaneous prayer definitely puts the emotions in control of one's prayer. I only mention this because I want it understood that I wasn't taught to pray formally, only out of the emotions, and consequentially, one looks for an emotional response to one's prayer.
*Obviously, just being raised Catholic wouldn't have guaranteed I'd know any of this or wouldn't have struggled with this problem. But I'm assuming I'd have the same sort of inclination to read the saints, which means I'd have been exposed to them a lot sooner, and might have gotten straightened out sooner.
I really hate having to make these clarifications in case of super-sensitive or hypercritical readers!Labels: quoted, st. john of the cross
What? Haven't they heard it's Christians who do the persecuting?
From
catholic.net.
Pakistani Christians Shocked by Rampage LAHORE, Pakistan, NOV. 15, 2005
(Zenit.org).- Christians in Pakistan are in shock after fanatics went on the rampage last week and laid waste to churches, schools and other symbols of the Christian faith.
The full story is now emerging of how people in the town of Sangla Hill, in the northeastern province of Punjab, were traumatized when crowds of up to 3,000 people attacked the Christian quarter, pillaging and ransacking at will Nov. 12.
In an interview with Aid to the Church in Need, Archbishop Lawrence Saldanha of Lahore described how the mob set fire to the town's United Presbyterian Church before descending on the Catholic Church compound.
Terrified parishioners could only watch as the crowd entered Holy Spirit Church, smashed the marble altar, broke open the tabernacle and scattered the consecrated Hosts on the floor.
The attackers tried to set fire to vestments and benches, but having failed, they carried what they could to the nearby presbytery and there burned it all with the help of gunpowder.
The attackers then turned their fire on two nearby Catholic schools, St. Mary's and St. Paul's, smashing up desks and chairs and setting them on fire.
The worst damage was done to the convent chapel, where sacred objects such as chalices and crosses were desecrated.
However, I really doubt the pillagers had any motive other than troublemaking--it probably wasn't a jihad so much as good ol' mobbery.
Labels: persecution
Abortion
Abortion is legalized violence toward women. It is a practice which reveals that ours is a society that still finds the abuse of women perfectly acceptable. What's even worse is that we women believe it
empowers us somehow to settle for this act of profound emotional and spiritual devastation and physical violence. We are accepting societal norms and conditions in which men continue to mistreat, abuse, rape, dishonor, and abandon us, and as a solution we are offered further violence, further violation of our bodies--and we have even been brainwashed into being proud of the legality of this violence!
I have had an unwanted pregnancy. It would have been perfectly legal for me to have had an abortion. I certainly wanted one. I didn't have one, not because I'm somehow morally superior, but because I was sick of not being in control of my body. I was not going to let myself be further vicitimized by allowing the sacredness of my body to be violated. What is so sad is that women accept this violation every day--and don't even find it disturbing that this violation is all that society thinks they deserve.
Women should
never have to have abortions at all. Yet so-called feminists won't even try to argue for a society in which women don't have to resort to abortion. They say, like you did, well, a few deaths from abortion is better than the many deaths by illegal abortion. It beats the hell out of me why anybody would accept any of this violence
at all.
silentnomoreawareness.orghopeafterabortion.comramahinternational.orgfeministsforlife.comrachelsvineyard.orgLabels: pro-life, violence
Woman dies after abortion
Did you hear about this story? I didn't think so.
Another Victim of RU-486
BY LAUREN HARGROVE
On June 14, a 34-year-old mother and lawyer, Oriane Shevin, of Sherman Oaks, California, died after undergoing a medically-induced abortion performed at the Eve Surgical Center, located at 10150 National Boulevard in West Los Angeles.
Her death leaves her two children -- a three-year-old and a four-year-old -- mptherless.
According to Los Angeles county coroner records, Oriane Shevin had taken RU-486 (mifepristone) and misoprostol on June 9 and 10 to terminate her pregnancy. It is not known if she was seen by a physician or even examined at Eve Surgical Center, which has both Christopher Dotson, M.D. and Josepha Seletz, M.D. identified as being associated with the business.
Three days later, severe, unremitting pain and heavy bleeding began, and Oriane was taken by ambulance to Encino Tarzana Regional Medical Center, where she was diagnosed with severe metabolic acidosis and sepsis.
Overnight her condition declined. She went into cardiac arrest and, despite resuscitation attempts, died on June 14.
The coroner reported her death to the federal Centers for Disease Control and ruled her death as "accident/natural" due to RU 486.
At the time that Oriane went to the Eve Surgical Center for the abortion, Dr. Christopher Dotson was still on Probation (1997 to June 16, 2005) for gross negligence and incompetence in causing the death of his patient, RJI, on February 3, 1992, according to California Medical Board records. Dotson was subjected to disciplinary action because "he was grossly negligent in the care and treatment of RJI." He failed to take an adequate exam, failed to classify her as a high risk pregnancy, failed to heed the risk of severe bleeding, failed to have appropriate equipment for monitoring, and failed to transfuse her in a timely way. He left the room while she was still bleeding.
The California Medical Board filed an accusation against Christopher Dotson, M.D. in 1993. Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital of Los Angeles had reported Dotson for being negligent in the treatment of six young women.
In 2001 Dr. Dotson had his New York medical license revoked indefinitely based on his California discipline.
. . .
In July 2005 the federal Food and Drug Administration warned doctors and patients of the potential for serious bacterial infection under certain circumstances with the use of RU 486. At least four women in California have died from RU-486 being administered by an abortion business within the last five years.Labels: pro-life, violence
Quoted: St. John of the Cross
"There are others who are vexed with themselves when they observe their own imperfectness, and display an impatience that is not humility; so impatient are they about this that they would fain be saints in a day. . . . they have not the patience to wait for that which God will give them when it pleases Him."
The Dark Night of the SoulLabels: quoted, st. john of the cross
